okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
