all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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