Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
being pregnant is like rehab
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize