He kissed a someone with a penis
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
