i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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