Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize