how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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