Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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