Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
