While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize