Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize