lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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