i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
okay pat passed out under dana's car
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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