Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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