Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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