Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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