is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Randomize
