so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize