Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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