I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
