Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
