Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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