I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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