dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
