Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
