Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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