It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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