so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
