Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize