Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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