his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
