Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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