Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
