Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
