I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
