I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize