YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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