Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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