Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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