is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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