somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
