C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
