Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
