I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
