New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
