i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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