drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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