I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
