where does the pee come out of this thing
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
