He disabled his match.com account in front of me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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