Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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