she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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