I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
