I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
