this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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