Kiss
Puke
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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