erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
