he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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