Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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