Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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