oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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