i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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