you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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