Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
