We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
