She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am naked and annoyed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
