i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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